I just need to vent...
I've been challenged with the idea of me progressing. I have been striving towards this Great heavenly cause of change, but I seem to be shackled down. Slowly, I see some change in the way I perceive life. Yet the idea of changing becomes so heavy. Gallons of nervousness and anxiety weigh me down from truly achieving.
Soon I will be attending a new college, where I have to meet and greet new people (I'm not the social type). I’m scared, and my face is painted with fear. I have tried to sike myself up and say "J ...everything will be just fine, you got through your freshmen year at your other school". But it’s not the same. I don’t want to repeat the same emotions and feelings of being frightened, like my first three freshmen weeks, all over again. It’s painful. It’s easy for most to just be themselves and be openly comfortable around anyone. However, I always worry about what he is thinking, what she might say, or how I might look. Anxiety overwhelms me, drenches me, and I think I'm going to DROWN soon. I have been trying to focus on what matters to me the most and that is myself, but I can't stop thinking about how other people see me. Am I funny, funny looking, weird, boring, corny, fun?
I hope I make it through. I don’t know how I'm going to get through, but I'm hoping HE/SHE is right by my side. That’s all I have...God. But it seems to not be enough. The only person that can change the way I look at things is myself. My whole life I've been this way, and my whole life I have been trying to get over this great deal of shyness. I always over analysis everything to the point where I cannot sleep at night. Everyone always tells me that I'm a beautiful intelligent person, yet I cannot attest to it. I really do not see the beauty, the brains, or the brother. I just see this silly ass fool carrying his biggest challenge on his shoulders...HIS LIFE. What should I do?
Love,
A brother covered up to his ears... in fear.
Nalij
posted by Liber8Lyph @ 6:04 PM
3 Comments:
WOW..I'm not trying to funny here...but you mos def sound like a case of Social Anxiety Disorder
Yo man get it together. You will do just fine. I told you where to start. Stay on top of my boy I put you in contact with. He is very busy but he told me he will help you. Start with him and once you get on campus get involved and things will change in six weeks. Suck up the first six weeks and things will be that much better.
I like the photo!
Post a Comment
<< Home