The jungle in me...
This weekend I have felt Bamboozled in a sense. Never before have I felt so ugly; never before have I felt so alone. This adjustment has been settling in very very very slowly. Im still at a very uncomfortable state, however hopefully in a few weeks that will all change. Rather, let me get back to what I was saying. The other night I met this guy, we will call him rican from now on, and we chilled at his place. I was nervous I must say. Every bone in my body felt like it was screwed and wired together. Crazy! Anyhow we chilled watched a movie, laughed, talked, but it just didn't feel right. I mean, I was feeling this kat; he had his on sense of style, a sense of humor, sense of life. For the moment it felt good, but i wasnt to sure how the rican felt about me. The hour was late and I was not sure if he wanted me to leave or not. I wanted to stay just to spend some time with the rican but they lay bored at the edge of the bed 20 miles from me. Did i look like a fool because I was nervous? Is he just being shy? Should I just leave? So I did...Today I asked him because I just couldn't stop thinking about it.
-Honestly, I asked, Are you feeling me?
*you know that long hesitation that is followed by a unwelcoming answer*
-Well... naa...I mean... so.... your not really my type, he responded
Okay so now what... Am I not thug enough, or am I too bougie? I respect eveyones taste but what the hell! Maybe its the fact that I have never been rejected before. Like I said, I was beginning to like this rican, or maybe it was the fact that I always thought about being with a rican and this was the first opportunity that I have had. Nevertheless, I have never felt so rejected before. It is a strange state of depression that it places you in. I'll get over it I guess. I really want to get to know this kid though. I thought we could have had soomething. If the rican ever reads this maybe he will give me a call. Because right now I am about through with talking to anyone. I have been decieved to many times this weekend. Crazy...the jungle in me!
posted by Liber8Lyph @ 1:37 PM
2 Comments:
Firstly never allow force from outward make you feel bad inward.
So what he did like you?
You are not doing to be everyone’s type and via versa
Just accept it for what it was. When you start allowing people to make you feel bad about yourself then you are setting yourself back before you even started.
Yo fuck him!
Everyone doesn't feel everyone. I am sure you met cats and didn't approve of them. Take your time before putting too much into a person. How long did you know him? How many times were y'all in each others presense? What caused you to get into him so fast?
A good indicator of future behavior is past behavior!!! If you want different results don't do the same things you did with him.
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