Thugs in Suits and Velcro shoes...
Bougie , the uptight and me. I cannot believe the thug called me bougie.
The Thug said to me, " Im sorry I'm not bougie enough like you, I don't play golf".
My response was held back by the strength of my pride and common sense. Not to let an ignorant "thug" try and justify his brutal behavior through my righteous open-minded-ness (Am I making up words now..LOL). This black soul who I thought was brighter than his image depicted, turned sour. I've come to understand that the thug was one of those simple fools to fall for the line: "well my doctor told me that I can't get pregnant". DUMB ASS! Two children and a college degree. What good is a degree when you have no common sense? Why must I be titled Bougie because I am cultured? Been to a few plays, traveled beyond my front porch, played a little golf, tasted caviar... and I am bougie? The ignorance of black faces. Stuck in the draft of commercialized dreams and porno-fied Ism's. Cultural-ism, Socialism, feudalism. I feel betrayed at times when people of my own race judge me based on the activities I choose. Sorry, I don't want to be a rapper, or hustle the streets to make ends meet. Im destined to find happiness and not through struggle. If you learn to play like the rich and famous, you become the rich and famous. Les Brown said "
Success is not achieved, it is attracted. Who have you been hanging around lately?" It's the truth. The people you base yourself around or the things you do surely reflect in the product you will become. This thug had me heated, however I no longer question the idea of what to do. Obviously, our perspective on life is slightly altered. When I confronted the thug about what was said, their response was simply "we can work on that". Work on the fact that I am too bougie for them to chill with, but fine enough to have sex with. There has to be more to life than this, Right? I know there is but it's people like this that make me upset. I wonder what the world will look like 20 years from now. I imagine a place where ignorance runs wild and you can no longer suggest one's culture by the pigment (or lack of pigment) in their skin. A strange world full of thugs in suits and velcro shoes. LOL!
A letter to my dreams
Dear Dreams,
Lately I've been thinking about you. Haven't had much time to discuss the feelings that I have for you. But I'll tell you one thing, the feelings have not evaporated. "Bring me some water for these flowers growing out of my mind". I imagine us in a yard full of blueberry cream skies and pastel dreams. A knoll of grass and two minds intrigued. I've never felt like this before. This is a place "un-common like erykah". Do you know how to laugh, can you cry? Can you breath underwater with the wind in your hair? I thought that I saw you last night "wearing shades of satin" under the moonlight after the explosion. Was it you? Were you there last night? Im sorry if it seems like I am asking so many questions, but Its been a long time since we held a conversation. I hope that you get this message before it's too late. Suddenly I realized that time holds no measure between you and I. Before I even knew that you existed, you were there for me sunshine and rain. Was that you last night? So mysterious in color yet pure in mind. You can be so green at times then beige, then pink. I wonder about you a lot. Are you really this fictional painting covered in life? Well, tonite I will lay my head down on my pillow, and pray that you come to mind.
Love, Peace, Sankofa
Lyph
Excuse the grammer, this was a thought that I just let flow out of my mind.
First Impressions?
Let me tell you about a friend of mine. We met about 4-5 years ago online. He referred to himself as a native from Virginia currently in New York. Come to find out he lives in Virginia not in New York so the likeliness of us meeting was slim to none since he had no car nor did I. Occasionally we would chat, then we exchanged numbers and from that a friendship was born. Without seeing a picture of this guy I now call my brother, our bond became closer. We told each other things no one else knew. We argued and I forced a better lifestyle down his throat by consistently telling him to go to college, get a new job, and start saving money. Slowly my antagonizing led to a new change in my brother. Finally he got a bank account and started to save, applied to universities, and soon will be making more than 6.50 an hour. Thank God! However, through all the pain and laughter we have encountered we have never met in person. Come this august we will finally be able to exchange words face to face. What to expect? I’m not too sure. Will all of my presumptions of my good friend be erased? Will he think less of me? I’m I ugly? Anyway, I can’t wait to finally meet up with him and see his true colors. How he walks, what he wears, how big is his so-called “little gut that just needs to be worked out in the gym”? Will first impressions matter since we have known each other for a half a decade? Who knows? But on August 20th in the “slums” of Philadelphia we will find out. Wish me luck!
The New Black
A friend of mine from UNH, Mrs. Smalls, once said to me "college is the new black", and I was blown away. How true was that? I will explain. Black... I saw as a revolution, like when dudes rocked "leather Africa" around their necks and dreamed about the Mother land was a time when blacks expressed the colorfulness of their culture, defined the Hip Hop era and made bold statements about justice and equality. This was a trend. No one really cared about the revolution. No one really believed in saving children in africa, they just want to rock red, green and black around their necks, with silk-screened t-shirts displaying powerful civil rights leaders. This monumental period in the early 80's was great, but it was simply a fad, trend, the new black. And now in the 21 century, we seek to find another trend. What more fitting than college? College is the new black. It is that new trend that young minds strive to gain. The new revolution, back to Africa, your mamma's new boyfriend color black.For those that don't know, the saying comes from the fashion world. Pink is the new black. A color is chosen by fashion guru who set aside a color for each year and season. Believe it or not, our world in set around these new colors. From art in hotels, the food we eat, the color of the Gaps window display, ice cream flavors, the way we feel, the books we read all draw a correlation with the seasonal color. So it makes sense to consider college as a color since it reflects who we are. College is the new black. A lot of students in college are there because their parents made them or there is nothing else to do with their life. Therefore, college becomes a hobby, a past-time, a post life in some sense, and the new black.
I thank Mrs. Smalls for her generous thoughts and many passionate debates and conversations we held last year. It was great getting to know you, because I thought I was the only one. (just had to throw that in there)
Last Night was...
I had a dream last night, a colorful dream. A dream larger in magnitude, heavier than space. I found myself on the ground, smiling, and laughing after the fall. I really don't know what happened before my fall, but I know it was a victorious fight, hence the smile on my face. Moreover, I have discovered, reached and landed on new land in my life. Call me Christopher! I have struggled throughout my life searching for a destined answer to my evolving question. Why me? Throughout my high school and younger years, I always felt like the outcast; small young, bold and fragile. I didn't understand why but I knew eventually it would shine through. Now I understand that my outlandish thinkings and bold yet mild expressions was just the ART in me. I didn't understand why I could never make any friends, but it was just the ART in me. I could never grasp the idea of why he was looking at me so hard, but it was simply the ART in me. It shaped, held, laughed and scold me. I've come to find myself half way prepared for life. Lately, I have been on this journey to end an old life. I have succeeded by making new friends, attending a new college, beginning a new and blooming job, established some standard morals and found new love within myself. Im half way there, yet half way lost. Even though I have landed on this new piece of rock, I am lost. Unknown to its territories or boundaries. So here I go, and I am ready to take on the blows. Last night was wonderful, brilliant and a nightmare.Beyond my episode, I must post about a friend I met; a thug, strong in tone and aggressive in mind. My impression was to refrain myself and to hold posture. I left my guard up from the kid (which I yet have to continue), so I drew the unintended picture of "hard to get". Verbally declined and often reserved, I left this thug puzzled. We met up one day, hit the movies and called it friendship. The conversation between me and the thug went from sensual to sophisticated; sex in the 3rd degree to the unstoppable epidemic in Africa. You can never judge a book by its cover. Now the feelings grow larger for this heavy hearted mind with two daughters and a college degree. What should I do?
Almost Doesn't Count
The post is almost over, and the revolution will not be televised; The truth will not explode and my mind will not grow any older.Today would have marked the two month anniversary between Jason and the kid. The Kid who may be brought up later, but as of now know as the kid. Jason met the kid online as he was browsing through some online chat rooms (something not unfamilar with). At school Jason had no thought of starting a relationship. The kid was from New Jersey and J was in school in new england. Jason had to make a trip home and at the same time chose to meet up with the kid. It would be a nite of the generic movies and a dinner. Jason jumped in the car and began to head in the kids direction. Calling the kid on the cell phone to verify the location of the kids house, he began to second guess the entire date. Is this something he should be doing; meeting someone offline? Well it was too late now, so fcuk it and go with it he thought to himself. puzzled and scared, anticipating a chocolate, slim and sexy to arrive at the car door. It was more than the imagination could handle, just as the picture diplayed. Baby face and a personality of non other. the movie was not the great but the conversation and the dinner was a lot better. Weeks pasted, months began to ponder over and the emotions began to grow in size. Jason and the kid began to become one. School is out, its been a month and now they can spend more time together at home in NJ. To be cont.
